How Growing Up In An Alcoholic Home Can Affect Children

It can be easy for children to blame themselves for an adult’s drinking, thinking that maybe if they behaved better or were smarter, the adult wouldn’t be driven to drink. Though this is not true, it is easy for a child’s brain to make those assumptions. Guilt is something they may grapple with for years to come.

Having an alcoholic adult in the household is a great weight for a child to carry. They may often wonder how bad it will be that day, if the adult will harm themselves or others, if they will be yelled at, etc. If abuse is present as a result of alcoholism, the child may also fear being physically or psychologically abused each day.

Often, alcoholism results in a feeling of secrecy, so the child may feel like they cannot talk about their home life or have friends over to their house. In some cases, alcoholic parents become intoxicated in public, possibly in front of people the child may know, which can result in further feelings of embarrassment.

This rapid change is a confusing concept for any child to grasp. The adult may also be a high-functioning alcoholic, making it harder for the child to accept that their parent has a problem because it may not be as obvious.

Children of alcoholic parents often harbor anger, whether at the alcoholic in their life or other adults for failing to notice or act. This anger can take root deeply and affect a child’s performance in school, their ability to interact with others, and their desire to succeed.

If the child is an only child, they may feel very isolated and alone when their parents are drinking. Even if a child has siblings, they may still pull away and feel like no one understands what they are going through or cares. This can be dangerous, as depression can lead to extreme anxiety and suicidal thoughts or actions.

Often, an alcoholic adult is not a reliable person. It’s likely the child has been let down time and time again. He or she may fear all people will act in this manner, becoming hesitant to get close to others. Research has demonstrated just how difficult it can be for adult children of alcoholic parents to form meaningful relationships. A study in the Journal of Mental Health Counseling found that adult children of alcoholics had lower relationship satisfaction and a high need for control within their relationships.

As adults, children of alcoholics may be more emotionally driven than others, meaning they will act quickly and on impulse rather than thinking through a situation. According to the results of a study in Substance Use & Misuse, children of alcoholic parents have more difficulty with emotions and show greater impulsivity when compared to those who did not grow up with alcoholic parents, regardless of whether they are drinkers themselves. The study authors concluded that certain personality traits associated with alcoholism seem to be passed down through families.

It is common for children of alcoholics to grow up and develop substance abuse issues of their own, even while still school-aged. This may be due to how normalized drugs and alcohol are in their home or because the child views them as a coping mechanism for their home life. Children who grow up with alcoholic parents are four times more likely to develop a substance abuse problem than children who did not grow up in an alcoholic household.